CheetahhhhhhhBlog Mark III

The New York Times reports today that Saudi officials captured a terrorist cell of 172 people in Riyadh who were plotting to blow up oil rigs. We’re lucky here in the western province. There is no terrorist activity here. There is occasional trouble in Riyadh and the eastern province however. My theory why there is no trouble here is because we’re close to Mecca and Medina.

The Saudi government seems to be fairly successful at catching terrorist plots, and cheers to that. And this latest incident points to something I’ve been wondering about. The terrorists want to destabilize the Saudi monarchy and the easiest way to do that is to disrupt the flow of oil. Now, you walk out in the desert and the oil pipeline is unguarded. Why don’t they blow it up? And the refineries here in town. Unguarded. Big tanks standing on the shoreline. Anybody could pop a hole in them. Luckily it seems clear that the terrorists aren’t very bright. Thank God for that, eh.

We went into the desert today, to the beach. This was the first time Vanessa would let The Bug go into the desert. I kind of had to strong-arm her actually. I did a little snorkeling. It was nice but the wind was up and kept blowing me into the reefs. I saw an octopus.

I made Van and The Bug a little tent, as you can see below. While The Bug was with me in the shallow waters, he did his favorite thing, which is kicking. The Bug LOVES to kick. You can tell he’s excited because he kicks more than usual. Anyway he was excited in the ocean and kicking and he got a little cut on his toe. The Bug didn’t even notice but Vanessa almost had a heart attack. She was talking about it for half an hour.

I told her that boys get cut and break bones etc all the time. That’s boys. It’s how they grow into men. Vanessa said she will get one of those baby leashes.

This country is really hard on cars. Missy is not even a year old (you can see her below) but she’s got scratches everywhere.

Vanessa and The Bug leave in a week. I am starting to miss The Bug already. I will miss Vanessa but I’ll really miss The Bug.

We recently watched The Pursuit of Happyness which is really good but really depressing. Vanessa loved it but I could barely watch because it was making me too depressed. We also watched The Illusionist which was one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long, long time. I was actually a tad surprised in the end, which is a rarity with me.

Vanessa wants me to remind you to go to the Teggatz Channel on You-Tube for the latest film clips. Links on http://teggatz.googlepages.com/icheetahhhhhhh.

In about 30 seconds, the bug will get his first cut.

Missy the car and our beach tent. We’re way out in the desert, as you can see.

Sunset bonding.

That Korean lunatic at Virginia Tech… well, what to say about that to foreigners? A student or two asked me about it. I was at a loss for words, as I imagine most Americans are. How to explain why, every year or two, some lunatic in America goes berserk and shoots up a room full of people? I have no explanation personally. Most foreigners seem to point to readily available guns in America as the root of the problem. Not to sound like Charlton Heston, but no, that’s not the reason. The Economist gave a little sermon about how America’s politicians are reluctant to enact gun control (if you don’t subscribe to the Economist, you might not be able to read this link). But these lunatics stem from some deeper social or personal problem. In any case we cannot control guns in America, for a very good reason. I am one of those rare liberal Democrats who supports free access to guns and I’ll tell you why. We have the right to bear arms because of our experience with our English overlords in 1776. The whole point behind the right to bear arms is so that the people have the ability to resist the government, if they need to. With that knucklehead in the Oval Office stripping away civil liberties like a fascist, I think the need is more clear today than ever. So in short, gun control is not why we have lunatics shooting people at Virginia Tech, and we couldn’t control guns even if it were the problem.

Item #1: ebooks

I’m not sure why ebooks haven’t caught on, because they rock. I went digital when it comes to periodicals a long time ago. I remember in the old days, I would walk out into the arctic cold of Minneapolis and collect my New York Times off the ice on the porch. Now I just dial it up. I also daily read the Economist, Slate, and Salon. I used to give Le Monde a look-see but I’ve become a bit lazy with the extra energy required for French reading.

Now if you go to Project Gutenberg http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page or to the U of Adelaide http://etext.library.adelaide.edu.au/ (among others), you can download almost any classic of literature for free. I read them on my PDA. I am thinking of sinking some cash into either the Sony Ebook Reader or else the Sony UX-series palmtop just to make ebook reading a little more hassle-free (Windows Mobile stinks and PDA devices are underpowered).

Item #2: the slow and painful collapse of the greenback

I complained once or twice before about the slow and painful collapse of the good ol’ greenback. Well, it’s been hitting me hard, because the Saudi riyal is pegged to the dollar. It’s painful for several reasons. First, Europe is close by and the Cheetahhhhhhh would generally like to spend time there, but it’s just too damn expensive. Our trip to Rome last year sicked my bank account dry. Second, the dollar is also falling against Asian currencies, even the Philippine peso. This is really painful. The house I’m buying in Leyte is getting more and more expensive each day, and I have concluded that I better get the deal done quickly.

Anyway getting to the real point here, there are a lot of hidden costs to being an expat. You’re probably thinking, “That lucky S.O.B. doesn’t pay any tax, what’s he complaining about?” True enough. Nevertheless this is somewhat offset by hidden expat costs and the paramount need to get out of Saudi periodically, i.e., international travel, which is outrageously expensive no matter how you look at it.

The hidden costs of being an expat. I’ll tell you. I’ve been using Microsoft Money very carefully lately. It take a lot of damn work. But I have been astounded to realize, for example, that about 4% of my salary goes to bank charges. My word. My stars, that’s disturbing. I’m going to see what I can do about that. And this figure isn’t even accurate because banks have a lot of hidden charges you don’t notice. For example, the Saudi British Bank doesn’t give you the standard US$1=SAR3.75. Oh no. They give you US$1=SAR3.754. That might not seem like much and admittedly it isn’t, but over the course of time they’re sucking another c-note or two out of the Cheetahhhhhhh. Also banks generally charge a currency exchange fee on their credit cards and ATM withdrawals which really add up… generally 2-3%.

The other big hidden cost is currency fluctuation. For example, over the course of my 2 year contract here, I have lost more than 20% of my spending power versus sterling and the euro.

ITEM #1: Office politics

Well it’s Tuesday, the 17th of April, and week 9 in the academic calendar. I’m counting down the days until June 13th. So is everyone else. The head of English quit his post in frustration with the internal politics of the university. I advised him to relax on the grounds that we’re all suffering from end-of-year burnout and, furthermore, the petty politics of a university aren’t worth getting your nickers in a knot. We do, however, have a lot of internal politics going on. Some people read this blog and report everything to the grapevine, so I’m not going to discuss the matter, and furthermore, office politics are the most boring thing on earth unless you’re involved. I am somewhat peripherally involved unfortunately, because I have taken the side of the head of English. A wise man wouldn’t have taken sides and I knew it even when I was taking sides. However sometimes a man’s got to take a side. It’s the cowboy in me. I actually think our “side” will emerge victorious but you know what? It’s no skin off my nose either way.
ITEM #2: Strange ideas

I was discussing holidays with my students. Saudis only have 3 actual holiday days. As they explained it to me, “Nothing is special in Islam” including birthdays or the new year. Well that’s fine if it works for you I suppose. My students think it’s quite peculiar that there are so many holidays in America. I pointed out that America is nothing, the Philippines and Korea have special days all the frakkin time. Hell, the Filipinos start celebrating Christmas in September. Believe it. The TV shows start singing Christmas songs in September. Yep it’s crazy, I know, but Filipinos like it. Anyway my students had a very strange idea about Christian holidays. They thought that on holidays, you could sleep with anyone you want, and it’s OK. I disillusioned them of this notion, though I did point out that on New Year’s, it is socially acceptable to kiss random people. But this strange notion illustrates how little they actually know about the West, which is a bit odd, considering that 90% of Saudi TV comes from Hollywood.

Item #1: Zim

The Cheetahhhhhhh long had an interest in Zimbabwe. It was his academic focus at the U of WI and he even wrote 100 pages of an unfinished thesis on it. My unfinished thesis was a condemnation of Robert Mugabe’s land reform program. I wrote that in a few years, Zim would disintegrate into mayhem and starvation. I got a lot of flack while I was writing it, first, from Zimbabweans and South Africans while I was working at Potchefstroom University in South Africa. I discussed my viewpoint and most black Africans disagreed with me, indeed most supported land reform in Zim. Second, I got flack from my profs at the U of WI, which is one reason I never finished the thesis. A grad student has a hard enough time without flack from his profs.

Well I’d just like to say DAMN IF I WASN’T ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. Yep. I’m not one to go around saying “I told you so” but you know what? I told you so.

Zim has been in the news lately, which is why I bring it up. The situation there almost couldn’t get worse. A pity because 25 years ago it was the world’s most self-sufficient economy and, unpleasant fact, the black population of Zim had a much higher average income under Ian Smith than it does now. Damn, that’s an unpleasant fact, but sadly it’s true.

Item #2: Van’s packing

Vanessa and The Bug leave for Manila in about 3 weeks. Van has started packing. I am starting to feel a little sad already.

Item #3: Migrane

The Cheetahhhhhhhh suffered his first true migrane today, for those of you keeping up on his health. I never had a real migrane before so I thought I was getting violently ill, because of the nausea. I can’t imagine what triggered it, because my life is fairly stress-free actually. It hit me while giving my kids their midterm. Maybe I subconsciously didn’t want to correct 50 midterms.

Van says it’s from your eyes. Maybe so. I think I need glasses. I have been putting off getting some for a long time. I have noticed some eye differences, such as things are a bit blurry while driving at night. This is new and I suppose part of me thinks it will just go away.

Happy Easter to all. It doesn’t feel like Easter here in Saudi. There is no new grass poking out of the mud, nor are there the first crocuses popping out of the snow. There is no church to go to Easter mass. However we are making do. We’re having some of my colleagues (non-Muslim) over and also some of the Filipino nurses, for some roast chicken (Star Market was out of turkey and we were very disappointed about that) and stuffing. Last time we had a party, the only people who ate stuffing were me and Vanessa. I think they didn’t know what stuffing was. That’s fine if they don’t eat it because it means more stuffing for me, and everybody knows that the stuffing is the best part.

We’ve been calling family to give Easter wishes… talked to my Uncle Stan last night, also talked to nanay (Van’s mom… “nanay” is “mom” in Tagalog), my mom and dad… my Aunt Wandy and Liza are still on the agenda.

So anyhoo the Cheetahhhhhhh took the day off from work for “religious reasons”. Just to fortify this, I made sure the entire college was aware that it is Holy Week. I ended up having theological discussions as usual. I tell you, there’s nothing I relish less than a theological discussion, but in Saudi they seem somewhat unavoidable. Anyway I ended up quoting the Apostles Creed. You know the CHeetahhhhhhh went to Catholic school for 14 years and had the Apostle’s Creed drilled into him. On the subject of Easter, Jesus “was crucified under Pontius Pilot, suffered, died, and was buried. He descended into hell. On the third day, he rose again in fulfillment of the scriptures… etc.” Now it’s the “he descended into hell” which got my Muslim colleagues sparked up. Muslims regard Jesus as the messiah, though their meaning of messiah is different than ours. I was able to give no satisfactory explanation of why we say Jesus “descended into hell”, nor am I aware of any Bible reference about this.

Anyway out of sheer curiosity I got to the bottom of this issue. It turns out the Cheetahhhhhhh learned the OLD Apostle’s Creed, which is a mistranslation of the Greek, which says Jesus descended into Hades. Hades was the Greco-Roman equivalent of Purgatory, ie, a temporary stopover. The modern Apostle’s Creed says he “descended to the dead”.

So there you go.

We’re heading back to Yanbu in an hour or two. As always, we accomplished only a fraction of out errands here in Jeddah. This is because of the crazy prayer times which interrupt everything. Also Saudis take a siesta from about 1230 to 430. Also I teach at 9AM so I am very sleepy by about 10PM and so I can’t stay up really late and if you really want to get a lot done in Saudi, you need to do it at night.

Vanessa trying on clothes.

The Bug’s new outfit.

2 commandos.

Intercontinental entrance.

Breakfast at Starbuck’s.

Last night after I blogged, we went to the Lost City restaurant, which is right next to the hotel. By sheer luck this turned out to be a fabulous restaurant. It was made out like the jungle and the seafood was deliciously fresh.

Bug checking in.

Going out for the night.

The lobby at night.

Lost City.

We are at the Intercontinental Jeddah and The Bug said “Damn this is fancy” when we walked in. Indeed the Cheetahhhhhhh dares say this is the fanciest hotel he’s ever been in. It’s not just fancy. It’s fancy-shmanshy. Until now, the fanciest hotel I’ve been in was the Intercontinental Taif. Well Taif is nothing compared to Jeddah. This place is opulent.

There is lobster on the menu so we might just stay in tonight but I suspect that Vanessa has ants in her pants.

Now you may be asking yourself, what is that kra-zee Cheetahhhhhhh doing at the Intercontinental Hotel when he’s not even on vacation? Well, I’ll tell you. This whole excursion was motivated by the need for a little holiday, and the Intercontiental provides just the right atmosphere for a getaway. We’re all experiencing end-of-contract-tedium-and-blues. For example today the head of English came into my office and started ranting about how he’s going to quit, he’s had enough of all this nonsense, etc…. and I said in a soothing tone, “Maybe you need to go to the Intercontinental too for the weekend.” Also bear in mind, there’s not a damn thing to do in Yanbu. Not a DAMN THING. So it can get a bit dull. And so here we are in Jeddah, on the Red Sea (I can see it out our balcony), getting a little R&R.

Also it helps that the rates for the Intercontinental mysteriously went down this weekend. It is rather odd how the hotel rates in Jeddah fluctuate. At the moment the Intercontinental is SAR490 which is about US$125, which is not bad for a 5-star with 6 restaurants and a health spa. Usually it’s around SAR 1000.